Doing Feminism - Latest Comments in My Apologies

Re: My Apologies

Derek — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:55:03 -0000

Hobbes, I state that I wanted respectful discussion. The one post you mentioned is the only post you made that was moderately respectful. Furthermore, previous posts you made were extremely disrespectful. You don't get to be an asshole here and then turn around and try to engage in a respectful discussion.

Furthermore, you don't get to decide if I should accept your apology or not. You becoming upset confirms my suspicions that it wasn't a real apology - you're just looking for someone to feel sorry for you.

As for others' comments to you, two things: One, I was away. Two, you made this an unsafe space, so I think they have every right to respond how they want to you. If I'd been around, your comment would have been modified/deleted and they wouldn't have had a chance to respond, and it wouldn't have been a problem. Still, though, you need to take responsibility for the fact that you violated the discussion policy numerous times, and, as the first offender, I don't feel it's necessary to restrict others' responses to you.

Anyway, I've wasted enough time here. Again, you're not welcome here, so please stop commenting.

Re: My Apologies

Hobbes — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 15:34:27 -0000

I meant to come back here to see if my apology was accepted; obviously it wasn't, and I'm a bit angry.

I get that you're going to delete this, and I don't blame you, since this is your space and you can do what you want with it. This is for you- Derek- and you alone.

You state in your "about" info that this a space for debate, for feminists and nonfeminists alike- and I assure you I read that, which is the reason I publically disagreed with you. The final "serious" post I made was as "GRad" sometime on the 26th- and no one bothered to respond, instead making snide remarks about how I was "ignorant" and "arrogant", while failing respond to my core queries (which I will make a list of at the bottom of this post). This is why I blew up, and while I still apologize for that, I do think that others were just as guilty. I don't understand how it can possibly be construed as trolling when I made a legitimate, reasonable point in a blog that encourages debate and discussion (and then was denied a civil response from those whom I supposedly trolled). If you want to make this blog a "safe space" then by all means do so, but do NOT go and state that this place is open to debate, because it obviously isn't.

Hysperia (just an example) refused to address the debate at hand, instead calling me "nuts" and "arrogant" and stating that "all women will already take precautions". Now she gets to talk behind my back about how I'm a "dolt", with everyone patting her on the back, while I am barred from responding.

I'm not antifeminist. I didn't see the debate as having anything to do with feminism.

By the way, my email is legitimate, so if you want to continue this discussion there feel free to.

Re: My Apologies

Derek — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 11:32:55 -0000

Thanks, hysperia. It means a lot to me.

Hobbes/GRad,
As hysperia pointed out, you may not intend to troll, but you are. And I don't think it really needs to be said, but I don't accept your apology. I want this to be a safe space for everyone, but particularly women, and you're not allowing that safe space to be. I'm not going to waste any more time on this, though. Please stop coming here. I let you have that one last comment, but you're really just not welcome here.

Re: My Apologies

hysperia — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 01:56:09 -0000

Derek, thanks for getting rid of this dolt. I don't particularly like participating in this kind of stuff, but I can't let it just stand out there unanswered. He's clearly not sorry for anything and just can't stop self-referencing. He may not intend to be a troll but that doesn't mean he isn't.

Great work here, Derek, as always. Thanks for you ...

Re: My Apologies

Hobbes — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:04:59 -0000

Okay, I think that this has all spiraled out of control. Maybe we can sort this out here and now. (You can disregard my previous comment; I had not seen this post earlier). I'd ask that, before you moderate this post as well, that you just read it through and listen to what I have to say. I've made some mistakes, and I'd like to explain.

First of all, the reason I have so many IPs is because I use a certain form of Verizon, which means my IP is not static (ie, my IP changes every time I log online). I didn't specifically request that, it's just how my provider works. So I haven't been actively attempting to evade your bans or anything. Secondly, I'm not the "Hobbes" who originally made the first post under the "Biting Beaver's Rapist Checklist Article". The second post was mine, but not the first, not that it makes any difference, just thought I'd share. I don't know why I took his name really, I guess I knew my post might generate a lot of heat.

Thirdly, my longer post under the "Biting Beaver's Rapist Checklist", the one which you deleted. This is the one post where I feel I may have gone to far and may have deserved some of the anger that has been directed at me. But I think it's partially a misunderstanding. What I posted does reflect my general views (ie, I feel drunken sex is not rape, and I would be happy to debate this point), but it was late, I was angry and in a bad mood, and I went too far with much of what I said. It's not how I really feel, I'm sorry. I also realize I came off as abrasive, but I was attempting to imitate "Biting Beaver's" angry, unproductive tone (ie, you're all villians, ragghhh drill sergeant) in my own post to illustrate how this can change how people percieve you and your views. It was unclear, and that's completely my fault.

Now we come to the section on the Garneau rapist. This is where I am confused as to all the anger directed at me. I do not think the positions that I took were in the least bit anti-woman or antifeminist. I will concede, I may have developed an unnecessary tone of anger in my last few posts. For that I apologize, and I take responsibility. BUT, I feel as though I was very civil as "GRad", and then I continually failed to get a concrete response to what I thought was a very reasonable arguement against flawed logic. Not only flawed logic, but dangerous error, because in my opinion it would be criminal to keep potentially helpful tips from a group in danger.

I failed- and continue to fail- to get any sort of concrete response to my original query (see the posts you deleted; "what if this was a murder case?", etc.) Because , I guess I don't see the Garneau rapist case as a feminist issue. Or at least, I feel like it shouldn't be. I'm sorry, but I simply see it- as I've said- as a group of people being victimized, and thus being advised on how to decrease risk. But I won't go detail or turn this into a debate, because that's unnecessary, we've already gone through it, and I've outlined how I feel in the other thread. We might have to agree to disagree on some small issues.

I don't consider myself antifeminist. I don't consider myself a jackass. I didn't come onto this site with the intention to troll; I don't study gender issues and I simply stumbled onto this site on Google. I meant to make one small post and leave, and things just went way out of control, and I got caught up in this crazy Internet debate and began to hurl insults and anger- and though I think others are just as guilty, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry for wasting all your time, and I'm sorry for offending those of you who were offended by what I've said. I was just trying to tell you how I felt, and I didn't mean for this to blow up in my face. So, I apologize. To everyone.